OK and Then Not

Went to a party at Mikerys house tonight and I didn't know anyone. There sitting on the porch, in an adorable dress, sipping water was a lovely baby belly attached to some ho. Ok, not really, the ho part anyway. I was ok, mostly. I admit to avoiding her, until we were across from each other at dinner and I shamefully talked only to the men to my right. I wanted to ask how far along she was, who her OB was, did she know if it was a boy or girl, but I couldn't get myself anywhwere close to that. Then I cried in the car on the way home.

Off topic, but have I mentioned how hard it is to NOT pee for four hours to get the best ovulation kit results? Torture, and then it's negative anyway, no smiley face to reward my full bladder waddle through Kroger.

Step One Done

I had the HSG today and boy the posts I had read about it hurting weren't kidding. I nearly jumped off the table when the doc inserted the catheter. He was fast though and the nurse was awesome. She rubbed my arm until Himself could come and stand by me. He made me so proud, I think he was almost as nervous as me. The best news was that everything was clear, no fibroids, clear tubes, good to go. I was cramping and dizzy afterwards for a few minutes, but mostly felt fine. A little cramping throughout the day. I've been resting a lot and just taking it easy.

It was very emotional though and I can't really explain why. I was teary during the procedure and almost crying after it was done. I guess it was just an overflow of all the stress lately.

Slow and Then Warp Speed

After fifteen months of trying on our own we had the first meeting with the doctor to begin figuring out why two seemingly healthyish twenty somethings haven't gotten pregnant. DH's SA results are on the low end of normal, which granted us a quick pass on to the reproductive endocrinologist. Hey, I spelled that right on the first try, good for me. We were lucky to get in to see him in June instead of July, which was when the first available appointment was. However, something popped up when I was on the phone with the receptionist, so I'm thankful for that. We'll be going on Himselfs birthday, sorry hon. My doc ordered the beginnings of the tests, an HSG and CD 21 progesterone test. I'm super nervous about the HSG. I'd like to say I'm being brave and thinking that labor and being a Mom will be much harder, but the pay off at the end of a test is cramping, so not the same motivation. (ok, cramping, hopefully clear tubes and increased fertility for a few months)

It's funny to be here after the last year of not really thinking anything was wrong. Maybe nothing is wrong, but maybe there is. At this point I'm both sadder about and encouraged by the miscarriage. We did manage it once and maybe we can do it again.

Huh

Life is strange and you never know what's coming around the corner. My husband lost his job on Friday. This prompted the do we keep trying now question? The answer, for now, is yes. I'm seeing my OBGYN next week and we are moving forward.

In other news, I may have O'ed on CD 8, VERY early. We were traveling and I didn't temp on Sunday, Monday my temp went up, I thought it was a fluke, but it was still up today. I guess we'll see what happens. The other idea would be that it is going to be an anovulatory cycle, annoying. At least if I did O Sunday, there was lots of BDing.